My day was bright and sunny. It was off to a great start, with my morning walk w Bawzlee and then completed the “must do’s” of the day before 9am even hit!
Today was going to be a great day.
I jumped in my car to head to the Fort Garry Hotel for the guardian angels benefit, luncheon for the survivors of cancer models. I picked up my phone to give my girlfriend a call. This is where it all began.
We shot the shit for a while and then she told me that she was having lunch with my sister in law. My head started to spin and I felt sick to my stomach, like really sick. What had just hit me? Why was I having this physical reaction? I tried to walk through everything that I coach my clients to do…breathe, do a thought download, be gentle with myself. NONE OF IT WAS WORKING! All I could think was I needed to talk to my best friend that I had grown up with. She had known this side of Charity better then anyone else.
Me: Jo, I need to talk to you and only you.
Joleah: Hey babe whats up?
Me: Remember the day when you got to hang out with my mom and make egg rolls, and I came home from school and found out that you had been all day, and I had a total freak out?
Joleah: Oh yah I totally remember that.
Me: Well its happening to me right now. The fear of being left out or left behind combined with jealousy is completely overwhelming me.
Joleah reminded me of how a major part of our childhood was a jealous reaction, from stealing her journal and reading it to make sure she didn’t have any friends closer then I was, to stealing her new kids on the block tape because I was jealous she had it and I didn’t (the list goes on).
Joleah was kind and gentle with me as she helped talk me through what I was experiencing and had blocked for many years. I had come to a point where I hated the feeling of jealousy and was so ashamed of it that I just stuffed it as far down as I possibly could. It was time to feel this jealousy, allow myself to go to those memories and process and then release.
A thousand pounds off my shoulders.
It’s not until we can feel the things we most fear that we are able to release them.
Thank you to my dear friend and soul sister for your never ending unconditional love for me.
To tap into where you may have an emotional block, ask yourself these 3 questions:
What is my most hated/feared emotion?
When was the last time I felt this emotion?
Be kind and gentle with yourself and slowly unpack that memory. Allow yourself to feel the emotions that come up. There may be multiple memories that begin to surface. Allow those feelings to be there. Allow yourself to breathe through it and feel it.
**Remember; feelings are vibrations in your body. They can’t harm you.