I would have never thought that I had an eating disorder, but I knew that I had dis-ordered eating.
I was never in a place where I found myself binging on food and then excusing myself to go to the bathroom to purge because I felt “disgusted” with the amount of food I had just eaten.
No that wasn’t me, so I thought that my eating was fairly “normal”.
Waking to a cup of coffee, that led to 3-4 per day. Keeping myself so busy that I thought there was never really time to eat, and when I did “find” time it was often just enough time, to hit a drive through and grab whatever was convenient, or something I was craving.
Often at the end of my work day I would find myself feeling totally out of control in my food choices that I would head to the McDonalds at the end of my street, gobble it down, feel sick almost immediately and then hide the bag from my husband who was at home making a healthy meal for me, as I was shovelling those hot salty fries into my mouth (only to eat a plate of food that would be waiting for me when I arrived home).
Oh it didn’t stop there! I would finish the night off with a bowl of popcorn or chips before hitting the hay.
On the daily I would wake thinking that this would be the day, a fresh start, today I would make the choices that would align with who i really wanted to be and often portrayed myself to be.
After all I did work in the beauty industry “inner health = outer beauty (call back for all my Just Breathe Clients).
I was a weight loss coach, I knew all I needed to know and often I could manage my mind enough to keep myself at a decent weight so I was fine…on the outside but not so great on the inside, physically and mentally.
What I was doing on a daily basis was hurting not only my body but my relationship with myself. I had no idea how dis ordered my eating and thinking, really was and the effects it was having on my life.
I believed that every women lived like this and that it was just part of life. One day I might figure it out, but I honestly didn’t have enough will power or motivation (or so I thought) to really be in my ideal body and the person who cared, loved and nurtured her body naturally.
Feelings of shame, discouragement and frustration were my norm, which only perpetuated the cycle because eating would bring me at least a moment of pleasure and find some reprieve.
I had no idea where this cycle had developed or how to get out of it, but what I did know was I had to find a solution, not just for me but for others who were struggling just like me.
I couldn’t live my entire life like this, was this really the norm?
Mind management is great, when I could actually manage my mind around the incessant cravings, but what about the rest of the time or when something “stressful” would happened!
Just add a little wine to the mix that would help…right?
Solving this in my life was something I never really believed I could do, until I did it. Things always seem impossible, until they become possible.
Finally the “constant tapping” finally stopped.
I now can see the options in front of me, the habits and patterns “offer” themselves to me, but now I am able to pause and make a different choice without the struggle or extreme urge to fight against.
Every women deserves to live like this and it doesn’t have to be as hard as we make it or think it is.
Self love has a whole new meaning to me and it now flows freely like nothing I have ever experienced in my life.
Eating healthy, moving my body daily and caring for this temple I get to do life in, now seems easy, and that includes when I chose to have the chocolate, chips or any other tasty treat without all the shame and guilt that used to follow.
This all happens in our brain, in our command centre. Resetting the loops we are caught in, conscious or unconscious, is all that needs to happen.
If you feel you may be caught in a cycle, a loop, a pattern that is hurting you lets jump on a connection call and chat.
I can help you break free from the struggle and incessant chatter.
Begin being the person you were created to be, living in an energized, clear & vitalized brain and body.